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Thursday, March 24, 2005

i almost punched the art director in the face today.

i was standing next to his desk and he started making excuses (again.) and i was mentally visualizing (as if, there was any other way) my fist slamming into his face. (repeatedly.)

dealing with him is most frustrating. and by most frustrating i really mean that it’d be easier to give direction to a person who didn’t speak english, was retarded, was two years old, and deaf.

this is the second time i’ve had an almost overwhelming, irrepressible urge to feed him a knuckle sandwich. the first time went something like this:

me: is the project going to be finished by the deadline?

retard: well, I’ve been so busy and this happened and that happened and (excuse)* (excuse) (excuse), and (excuse).

me: so you’re telling me that it won’t be done?

retard: (excuse) (excuse) I don’t have time (excuse) (excuse)

me: you’ve known about this deadline for over a month and you’ve also known how important this project is.

retard: (excuse) (excuse) well i have to go now because i have to leave work early to meet my dad.

me: ....flinch

i actually flinched in pain, like somebody just boxed me in the face. first he tells me he doesn’t have time then he tells me he has to leave work early, meanwhile the rest of the art department has been working overtime on this same project and he’s been leaving early all week.

I guess, guess being the operative word, that this would be somewhat ‘ok’, except for the simple fact that he NEVER CAN FINISH A PROJECT BY A DEADLINE. I should probably just change the use of the word deadline to wheneverthefuck.

me: hey will you finish the project by wheneverthefuck?
retard: you betcha!

the sad part is our health insurance policy doesn’t cover mental suffering caused by idiots.

*i’d write out his actual excuses but i wouldn’t want to be responsible for the damage you’d suffer from reading them. (specifically the damage to your eyes when they started to bleed uncontrollably.)

**i’ve never flinched from being party to an act of such gross stupidity before. it was almost amazing, i say almost because my heart rate instantaneously shot up to 200 beats per minute and i was forced to stare at my fist to remind it not to start smashing him in the face. suffering a heart attack because of the dumb is never amazing, almost or otherwise.

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