Wednesday, July 27, 2005
why i should be receive electric shocks everytime i email a friend
To: A friend who wishes she did not have a friend as weird as the friend that wrote this email
From: The aforementioned weird friend
Subject: Ants
gourmet ant bait? but do you have the Ant Cafe http://www.pestproducts.com/antcafe.htm that is specifically designed for gourmet ant bait?
The cafe says to ants, "come in, relax, take a load off, have some mocha coffee... die". ants are suckers for mocha coffee...suckers.
you'll be happy to know that I successfully stalked and hunted the chinese fly and squashed it like brezhnev squashing the czechoslovakians. i felt just like the great white hunters of yore; only i'm not white, didn't have a gun, wasn't hunting a lion, and wasn't in africa. (i do have more than a few pairs of dandy khaki pants though.)
and lastly, a stupid ant fact. (presuming that somewhere, out there, in a place where linda ronstadt is not the singing diva that we all know and love.) there is such a thing as a non-stupid ant fact:
ants won't cross a line of chalk because, and i'm only guessing here, that ants are stupid. you can limit where the ants go by chalking lines where you really don't want them. you can also use, i believe, non white colored chalk to make it less obtrusive.
for your enjoyment a link to a picture of group of ants that have decided, not unlike our intrepid troopers in the 101st airborne that this bridge, is a bridge too far...or this line of chalk is a chalk bridge too far...or whatever.
http://pak06.pictures.aol.com/NASApp/ygp/GuestLogin?event=TaskView&shareInfo=KnVVBplenSO6KEzOHqPJFLcuN5QZZzRsIYfWoE%2bsdQKJJdNX5w59hg%3d%3d&selectedIndex=0&locale=en_US&locale=en_US
recommending: not making chalk outlines in the shape of people. it's a little morbid and will only serve to confuse and befuddle your guests.
and a caveat: this little ant factoid might be useless as drawing chalk lines in ones apartment may not be particularly useful information or practical. needless to say that if you ever move into a cave, or in a tent on a sidewalk, and you have an ant problem. the chalk thing should be right up your alley.
To: A friend who wishes she did not have a friend as weird as the friend that wrote this email
From: The aforementioned weird friend
Subject: Ants
gourmet ant bait? but do you have the Ant Cafe http://www.pestproducts.com/antcafe.htm that is specifically designed for gourmet ant bait?
The cafe says to ants, "come in, relax, take a load off, have some mocha coffee... die". ants are suckers for mocha coffee...suckers.
you'll be happy to know that I successfully stalked and hunted the chinese fly and squashed it like brezhnev squashing the czechoslovakians. i felt just like the great white hunters of yore; only i'm not white, didn't have a gun, wasn't hunting a lion, and wasn't in africa. (i do have more than a few pairs of dandy khaki pants though.)
and lastly, a stupid ant fact. (presuming that somewhere, out there, in a place where linda ronstadt is not the singing diva that we all know and love.) there is such a thing as a non-stupid ant fact:
ants won't cross a line of chalk because, and i'm only guessing here, that ants are stupid. you can limit where the ants go by chalking lines where you really don't want them. you can also use, i believe, non white colored chalk to make it less obtrusive.
for your enjoyment a link to a picture of group of ants that have decided, not unlike our intrepid troopers in the 101st airborne that this bridge, is a bridge too far...or this line of chalk is a chalk bridge too far...or whatever.
http://pak06.pictures.aol.com/NASApp/ygp/GuestLogin?event=TaskView&shareInfo=KnVVBplenSO6KEzOHqPJFLcuN5QZZzRsIYfWoE%2bsdQKJJdNX5w59hg%3d%3d&selectedIndex=0&locale=en_US&locale=en_US
recommending: not making chalk outlines in the shape of people. it's a little morbid and will only serve to confuse and befuddle your guests.
and a caveat: this little ant factoid might be useless as drawing chalk lines in ones apartment may not be particularly useful information or practical. needless to say that if you ever move into a cave, or in a tent on a sidewalk, and you have an ant problem. the chalk thing should be right up your alley.
