Sunday, March 30, 2003
Friday, March 28, 2003
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
Monday, March 24, 2003
Sunday, March 23, 2003
a small list of things that are extruded:
- plastic
- styrofoam (maybe not)
- rubber (maybe not, again)
ok.
maybe i should change the list name to "one thing that could be extruded sometimes, i think"
- plastic
- styrofoam (maybe not)
- rubber (maybe not, again)
ok.
maybe i should change the list name to "one thing that could be extruded sometimes, i think"
If you arch your feet. Toes pointed up, heel extended, and then tilt your foot to the side, the profile of your foot looks not unlike the outline of half a woman. The curve from the ball of your feet to the heel could equate to the curve from the breast down to a womans hips. (This takes imagination.) (This might also possibly take a sick mind.)
Maybe that is why people have foot fetish's. It could also be that the area of the brain that controls your genitals (mine too) is located right next to the area that controls your feet. I want to say its in the right parietal cortex. (I could be making this up.) The proximity of each "control region" in the brain might lead to some kind of subconcious association with feet to genitals to sex.
Or it could be because during the Victorian Era when sexual expression was so repressed that it lead people to become fixated on others feet as some kind of sexual symbolism. And these repressed Victorian images still abound today. Or maybe its a little bit of all three of these reasons.
Or maybe people with foot fetishes are just sick fucks
Maybe that is why people have foot fetish's. It could also be that the area of the brain that controls your genitals (mine too) is located right next to the area that controls your feet. I want to say its in the right parietal cortex. (I could be making this up.) The proximity of each "control region" in the brain might lead to some kind of subconcious association with feet to genitals to sex.
Or it could be because during the Victorian Era when sexual expression was so repressed that it lead people to become fixated on others feet as some kind of sexual symbolism. And these repressed Victorian images still abound today. Or maybe its a little bit of all three of these reasons.
Or maybe people with foot fetishes are just sick fucks
Thursday, March 20, 2003
"look at all those fascists and communists"
- a man commenting on anti-war protesters marching down the street. when i asked him to elaborate he asked me rhetorically, "isn't it obvious? the fascists and commies organize these peace marches."
see....it's a bell curve and there are way too many people on top of the bell.
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." - Theodore Roosevelt
- a man commenting on anti-war protesters marching down the street. when i asked him to elaborate he asked me rhetorically, "isn't it obvious? the fascists and commies organize these peace marches."
see....it's a bell curve and there are way too many people on top of the bell.
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." - Theodore Roosevelt
soma = internet, lottery, beer, smokes, tv, cars.
buy more baby.
and for ford's sake stop complaining you are making the baby savage cry.
buy more baby.
and for ford's sake stop complaining you are making the baby savage cry.
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
Monday, March 17, 2003
It's like neutrinos. These small, tiny, so tiny, little..things that get ejected from the Sun and go ripping through the solar system. To detect them you set up a huge pool of mineral water in a mine and wait until there is a flash of light in the darkness. Every once in awhile one of these millions of these tiny little...things hits a water molecule and makes a tiny little..flash of light. It's like they don't exist. It's like there not even there at all.
But they are
But they are
Sunday, March 16, 2003
Friday, March 14, 2003
people who might be good looking if i was blind but would probably be just as annoying....
yoko ono
and an example of her artwork...
...look it's directions from ikea
yoko ono
and an example of her artwork...
...look it's directions from ikea
Thursday, March 13, 2003
.rewind.
...so there is this korean guy about twenty feet away from me and he is staring at me....intently with a blank look on his face....yeah....no shit...wait...he *is* staring right at my face. i look away and fumble in my pocket for a smoke. ok. five seconds have passed. i look back up. shit. he is still staring right at me. do i know this guy? did i have a problem with him before? he is sitting with one other guy and two chicks. i glance away and grab my beer and take a sip. ok another five seconds have passed. i look back up and....shit...mr. starey boy is still looking...right at me. is this guy nuts? he is with one other guy and i'm sitting at a table with maybe twenty people and half of us are guys...shit. ok. now i hold his gaze. five seconds pass. ok see... this motherfucker is nuts. i look away. maybe i'm overreacting. i look back and fuck me...this mr. starey boy is still staring right fucking at me. i hold his gaze again. five seconds...ten seconds....twenty seconds....ok see. now it's on motherfucker. i stand up.
"what the fuck are you looking at?", i kinda yell at mr. starey boy across the bar and he is still staring at me with that blank face, out of the corner of my eye i see my friends turn to look at me. "i said what the fuck. are you looking at motherfucker?", i yell this a bit louder cause this guy still just has this blank look on his face.
"yo what are you doing man?" my friend john asks.
"that motherfucker has been staring at me for the past five fucking minutes man", i tell john and point to mr. starey boy.
john looks at me. john looks at the guy staring at me and says to me with a straight face, 'yo he is watching the television behind you......you dickhead'
ha ha ha.
damn.
...so there is this korean guy about twenty feet away from me and he is staring at me....intently with a blank look on his face....yeah....no shit...wait...he *is* staring right at my face. i look away and fumble in my pocket for a smoke. ok. five seconds have passed. i look back up. shit. he is still staring right at me. do i know this guy? did i have a problem with him before? he is sitting with one other guy and two chicks. i glance away and grab my beer and take a sip. ok another five seconds have passed. i look back up and....shit...mr. starey boy is still looking...right at me. is this guy nuts? he is with one other guy and i'm sitting at a table with maybe twenty people and half of us are guys...shit. ok. now i hold his gaze. five seconds pass. ok see... this motherfucker is nuts. i look away. maybe i'm overreacting. i look back and fuck me...this mr. starey boy is still staring right fucking at me. i hold his gaze again. five seconds...ten seconds....twenty seconds....ok see. now it's on motherfucker. i stand up.
"what the fuck are you looking at?", i kinda yell at mr. starey boy across the bar and he is still staring at me with that blank face, out of the corner of my eye i see my friends turn to look at me. "i said what the fuck. are you looking at motherfucker?", i yell this a bit louder cause this guy still just has this blank look on his face.
"yo what are you doing man?" my friend john asks.
"that motherfucker has been staring at me for the past five fucking minutes man", i tell john and point to mr. starey boy.
john looks at me. john looks at the guy staring at me and says to me with a straight face, 'yo he is watching the television behind you......you dickhead'
ha ha ha.
damn.
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
i don't give a damn, furreal
i don't care
that's all i hear from myself trying to make things clear
yeah, i don't give a fuck, fo'real i don't fucking care
that's all i hear
-sage francis rewrite
hit that.
i don't care
that's all i hear from myself trying to make things clear
yeah, i don't give a fuck, fo'real i don't fucking care
that's all i hear
-sage francis rewrite
hit that.
i had become yorick and gold was my king.
EXT. OLD ORCHARD MALL - DAY
JAMES and HANNA are shopping at a large, tasteful, upscale, outdoor mall. JAMES is holding several large shopping bags. HANNA speaks to JAMES and indicates she is going in one last store. JAMES nods and lights a cigarette and motions that he is just going to walk around while she is inside.
JAMES VO
In high school a teacher predicated that when I was finished I was going to be running the show or I would end up an Urban Terrorist.
The mall is filled with young attractive people. Wealthy mothers, successful business men. JAMES looks on with quiet disdan and he feels very alone but doesn't realize that externally he looks exactly like the people he loathes.
JAMES passes a TIFFANY'S. He looks inside. A young COUPLE is looking at engagement rings. The woman is ecstatic. The man feigns pleasure and when she looks away he gets a pained expression on his face. JAMES smiles to himself. We see JAMES's reflection on the glass and the COUPLE in the background.
JAMES VO
I don't know about urban terrorism, but I bet if I blew up Tiffany's at least half the world would hail me as a hero.
EXT. OLD ORCHARD MALL - DAY
JAMES and HANNA are shopping at a large, tasteful, upscale, outdoor mall. JAMES is holding several large shopping bags. HANNA speaks to JAMES and indicates she is going in one last store. JAMES nods and lights a cigarette and motions that he is just going to walk around while she is inside.
JAMES VO
In high school a teacher predicated that when I was finished I was going to be running the show or I would end up an Urban Terrorist.
The mall is filled with young attractive people. Wealthy mothers, successful business men. JAMES looks on with quiet disdan and he feels very alone but doesn't realize that externally he looks exactly like the people he loathes.
JAMES passes a TIFFANY'S. He looks inside. A young COUPLE is looking at engagement rings. The woman is ecstatic. The man feigns pleasure and when she looks away he gets a pained expression on his face. JAMES smiles to himself. We see JAMES's reflection on the glass and the COUPLE in the background.
JAMES VO
I don't know about urban terrorism, but I bet if I blew up Tiffany's at least half the world would hail me as a hero.
Monday, March 10, 2003
because things don't always have to make sense. (not even to me)
(less even to you)
becausethingsdon'talwaysrhyme.
because things don't. but
(mostly they do)
(even when you are not) looking.
because.
(less even to you)
becausethingsdon'talwaysrhyme.
because things don't. but
(mostly they do)
(even when you are not) looking.
because.
Sunday, March 09, 2003
it's like watching a fat kid trying to shove his chubby fingers into the bottom of a cereal box to get the last fruit loop. yeah he'll eventually get the last fruit loop but it's just so, not pretty to watch.
Saturday, March 08, 2003
I'm bored and I just read some of the worst blogs ever. Actually they were. The Worst Blogs Ever. Right now I can hear tiny fingers tapping on a tiny keyboard in somebodies tiny little room and he is writing.
"i just read the worst blog ever and it was called fathead.blogspot.com, FATHEAD?! c'mon there was not one picture of a fat..anything on his page. what a GIRLY MAN!"
or maybe he is german and in that case it would look something like this..
"Ich las gerade das schlechteste blog überhaupt und es wurde fathead.blogspot.com, FATHEAD? genannt! c'mon dort war nicht eine Abbildung eines fat..anything auf seiner Seite, ein was GIRLY MANN"
And if you are writing that in your tiny room with your tiny fingers on your tiny keyboard, I can only say. Ok, you got me. But see I know this page sucks so it's "ok". or "OK". (i had an english professor who constantly berated me for using CAPS she said, 'IT'S CHEATING". she is probably right, but i doubt she is going to read this and i'm not getting a grade so I AM GOING TO CHEAT AND ENJOY IT.) So since I already know that this page sucks your venom is wasted fruitlessly upon my hard iron like shell.
I waste enormous amounts of valuable time accomplishing goals which amount to absolutely nothing. For example I spent two hours once trying to download a free copy of adobe photoshop 7.0 and another two hours trying to find a crack for WinXP Service Pack 1 because I can't install SP1 with my cracked CD key. I know you are thinking, "this guy, his life = difficult" and you know. you are right. i accept your pity like the man that i am. thank you.
After downloading photshop, which seemed terribly important to get because i am eventually going to spruce up this barren wasteland ("NEVER EVER USE CLICHES I JUST DON'T EVEN READ CLICHES, IT'S LIKE I SKIP OVER THEM") using my handy dandy photoshop. I realized I have absolutely no desire to spruce up this page at all, ever. I don't even like putting my picture online. I don't even own a camera. (ok, that is clearly a lie but it serves it's purpose). I would take a picture of my camera and post it except i only have one camera and the camera i own is not capable of zen like feats of super camera like ability.
This is actually the third or fourth blog i've started all the others were terrible, terrible failures and there efforts have sunk like a home made cuban raft. Mostly this page is written for me, by me, with my intended audience as me. I am, unlike, my camera capable of zen like feats of super human egoism, or something.
If, however, you do happen to like what you read, you are clearly one of the smartest, sorry, the SMARTEST PEOPLE EVER. If you also to happen have enjoyed The Phantom Toolbooth, The Three Investigators Series, and anything by Roald Dahl as a child you are, again one of the SMARTEST PEOPLE EVER. If you happen to have read Sharks and other Dangerous Creatures of the Deep in the second grade and are now afflicted with a deep phobia of water deeper than your knees you are are a "girly mann" and right now i, as well as my german readership are laughing at you.
ps. reading Jaws in the sixth grade because your parents wouldn't let you see the movie because it is "too scary" is not a good idea. you have been warned. a useful warning if this warning had occured sometime in the far distant past when all this information would have been useful.
a monologue from me(now) to me(then).
"If you ever want to enjoy the ocean ever, do not ever read Jaws or Sharks and other Dangerous Creatures of the Deep as a child. Books are bad, actually words are bad. words should be banished and if you read those two books you will never ever be able to go into water deeper than your waist in the ocean without first making sure you are not only the closest person to the beach but also making sure that there are other people between you and the deep scary ocean so that the man eating shark or other dangerous creatures of the deep that are so right there will eat them first and not you."
Look I drew a diagram for you...
..and no I am not four years old.
*I will extensively use caps and other cheap literary tricks to convey feeling and emotions because I am a poor writer. I, also, as a general rule of thumb will always use the semi-colon and colon incorrectly. so for all you englishy types out there, you have my most humble and sincere apologies. just for you i've included these. abcdedfghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz, as well as these punctuation marks, . | , | : | ; feel free to pretend one of these or those was there instead of what is, or was, or will be there in the future when i do make a mistake but if it truly bothers you. DON'T LOOK THERE AGAIN! you have been post-warned. (post-warning aka i told ya so's, possibly the best warnings to give for those that are giving the warning to those that didn't have the chance to heed the warning since I cleverly gave it too late to make a difference. (please see above reference to useful warnings.)
"i just read the worst blog ever and it was called fathead.blogspot.com, FATHEAD?! c'mon there was not one picture of a fat..anything on his page. what a GIRLY MAN!"
or maybe he is german and in that case it would look something like this..
"Ich las gerade das schlechteste blog überhaupt und es wurde fathead.blogspot.com, FATHEAD? genannt! c'mon dort war nicht eine Abbildung eines fat..anything auf seiner Seite, ein was GIRLY MANN"
And if you are writing that in your tiny room with your tiny fingers on your tiny keyboard, I can only say. Ok, you got me. But see I know this page sucks so it's "ok". or "OK". (i had an english professor who constantly berated me for using CAPS she said, 'IT'S CHEATING". she is probably right, but i doubt she is going to read this and i'm not getting a grade so I AM GOING TO CHEAT AND ENJOY IT.) So since I already know that this page sucks your venom is wasted fruitlessly upon my hard iron like shell.
I waste enormous amounts of valuable time accomplishing goals which amount to absolutely nothing. For example I spent two hours once trying to download a free copy of adobe photoshop 7.0 and another two hours trying to find a crack for WinXP Service Pack 1 because I can't install SP1 with my cracked CD key. I know you are thinking, "this guy, his life = difficult" and you know. you are right. i accept your pity like the man that i am. thank you.
After downloading photshop, which seemed terribly important to get because i am eventually going to spruce up this barren wasteland ("NEVER EVER USE CLICHES I JUST DON'T EVEN READ CLICHES, IT'S LIKE I SKIP OVER THEM") using my handy dandy photoshop. I realized I have absolutely no desire to spruce up this page at all, ever. I don't even like putting my picture online. I don't even own a camera. (ok, that is clearly a lie but it serves it's purpose). I would take a picture of my camera and post it except i only have one camera and the camera i own is not capable of zen like feats of super camera like ability.
This is actually the third or fourth blog i've started all the others were terrible, terrible failures and there efforts have sunk like a home made cuban raft. Mostly this page is written for me, by me, with my intended audience as me. I am, unlike, my camera capable of zen like feats of super human egoism, or something.
If, however, you do happen to like what you read, you are clearly one of the smartest, sorry, the SMARTEST PEOPLE EVER. If you also to happen have enjoyed The Phantom Toolbooth, The Three Investigators Series, and anything by Roald Dahl as a child you are, again one of the SMARTEST PEOPLE EVER. If you happen to have read Sharks and other Dangerous Creatures of the Deep in the second grade and are now afflicted with a deep phobia of water deeper than your knees you are are a "girly mann" and right now i, as well as my german readership are laughing at you.
ps. reading Jaws in the sixth grade because your parents wouldn't let you see the movie because it is "too scary" is not a good idea. you have been warned. a useful warning if this warning had occured sometime in the far distant past when all this information would have been useful.
a monologue from me(now) to me(then).
"If you ever want to enjoy the ocean ever, do not ever read Jaws or Sharks and other Dangerous Creatures of the Deep as a child. Books are bad, actually words are bad. words should be banished and if you read those two books you will never ever be able to go into water deeper than your waist in the ocean without first making sure you are not only the closest person to the beach but also making sure that there are other people between you and the deep scary ocean so that the man eating shark or other dangerous creatures of the deep that are so right there will eat them first and not you."
Look I drew a diagram for you...
..and no I am not four years old.
*I will extensively use caps and other cheap literary tricks to convey feeling and emotions because I am a poor writer. I, also, as a general rule of thumb will always use the semi-colon and colon incorrectly. so for all you englishy types out there, you have my most humble and sincere apologies. just for you i've included these. abcdedfghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz, as well as these punctuation marks, . | , | : | ; feel free to pretend one of these or those was there instead of what is, or was, or will be there in the future when i do make a mistake but if it truly bothers you. DON'T LOOK THERE AGAIN! you have been post-warned. (post-warning aka i told ya so's, possibly the best warnings to give for those that are giving the warning to those that didn't have the chance to heed the warning since I cleverly gave it too late to make a difference. (please see above reference to useful warnings.)
you'll get paid on friday. nothing bad will happen to people around you. good deeds will be rewarded. your plans will work out. you will not fail. things will be ok. you will get enough sleep. you'll get that vacation. you will find love. you will marry the perfect woman. you will be famous. your family is perfect. you willunderstand. thingswill be fine. everythingfits. youwillberewarded. thingswillbeok. thingswillbeok.
everything will be ok. everything is fine. everything. everything.
everything.
everything will be ok. everything is fine. everything. everything.
everything.
Friday, March 07, 2003
I've lowered my aerodynamic co-efficient by a good percentage point.
If i had a digicam you'd see a picture of me here with a shaved head. The picture (imaginary or otherwise) would be black and white. I'd be facing the camera and my right hand would be covering my face and my head would be tilted forward. The picture would be artsy and cool but more cool than artsy. I'd also be topless because let's face it. Sex sells.
If i had a digicam you'd see a picture of me here with a shaved head. The picture (imaginary or otherwise) would be black and white. I'd be facing the camera and my right hand would be covering my face and my head would be tilted forward. The picture would be artsy and cool but more cool than artsy. I'd also be topless because let's face it. Sex sells.
People who put lyrics on their blogs...yeah them... they are like, the worst, ever.
Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world
You could say I lost my faith in the people on TV
You could say I'd lost my belief in our politicians
They all seemed like game show hosts to me
If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do
I could be lost inside their lies without a trace
But every time I close my eyes I see your face
"sting, sting would be another person that's a hero. the music that he's created over the years. i don't really listen to it but the fact that he's making it. i respect that."
what is bark made out of?
Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world
You could say I lost my faith in the people on TV
You could say I'd lost my belief in our politicians
They all seemed like game show hosts to me
If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do
I could be lost inside their lies without a trace
But every time I close my eyes I see your face
"sting, sting would be another person that's a hero. the music that he's created over the years. i don't really listen to it but the fact that he's making it. i respect that."
what is bark made out of?
